HERE'S THE LATEST.

Sorry it's been a little over a month since the last update and I'm sure you are all wondering how I am doing. I am doing great! the Dr actually used the word remission so that's great. John is doing well thank you to everyone for all your prayers. He had the surgery and got the cancer removed and it was all contained in the tumor so they think they got it all and John will need no further treatment so this was miraculous news. I have a surgery coming up my preop apt is 3/12/2009 and then I'll have a surgery date, they have to cut out the bottom of my stomach no biggie at least I'll get skinny! I can't end this update without expressing my gratitude to my ward family when I was in the hospital for a week & a 1/2 this month the service and compassion they showed to our family was amazing. I have really for the first time in my life realized how important the ward family is and I turely can not explain the love I have developed for all of you. I have always been fortunate to have my family close by and in the same ward or stake and have not relied on the ward and never felt like they were family so thank you to my ward family for teaching me. And of course thank you to my Dad and 4 sisters (oops I mean 3 I forget David is a boy) and all my family and friends. Take care and don't forget to find the time to tell your love ones you love them!

THINK PINK!!

My hair started to grow back, the fell out again but only in a large patch on the left side of my head. My Grandson thought I should have a Hawk like his, so I decided to make mine a breast cancer one.

Jaden and I rocking our Hawks.

Don't worry this is just my Lane from Gilmore Girls moment. Meaning I am shaving it so my hair grows in even and all I will have are these pictures to prove I once rocked a hawk

OK it's 4:00am and I can't sleep thanks to the steroids, so I thought this would be a good time to update the blog. It's been a week since my last high dose of Chemo and this coming Monday I take my first of four weekly low doses of the chemo. I am looking forward to it they say I won't get that sick, YEA! The Dr. told me to take my anti nausea medicine 3X's a day to keep me from getting ill. I was real good the first 5 days, then yesterday I thought I feel fine so why take the meds when I don't feel sick. Well lets just say the cashier at the store who's feet got in the way while I was throwing up on the floor probably wished I had followed the Dr. orders. I just had to laugh what else could I do, I am not pretty when I cry.

We still don't know when Johns surgery is there was a problem with the Oral surgery office and our insurance. They first told us our insurance wouldn't pay for the anesthesia and we would have to pay out of pocket up front, then they said the insurance wouldn't cover the removal of the tumors and guess who they wanted to pay?! If I had hair I would have pulled it out! Apparently our medical insurance is better then our dental and the insurance company says it is covered if they bill it right. I was quite stressed out by Monday afternoon thinking John wouldn't be able to have surgery, then I had my dad give me a fathers blessing and with allot of personal prayer I was guided to the Cancer Alliance Center. They should be calling me to day with a surgery date.

I am so grateful to my Heavenly Father I know that we are in His care and He is guiding us through this trial. Thank you everyone for all the help and prayers on our families behalf.


take care, Crystee

GOOD NEWS!!!!

Well today I went to the Dr. for a bunch of test and a Bone Marrow biopsy and the good news is my body is producing all three blood components and I don't have to do the growth factor!! I did Chemo today and will do a dose on Friday, then I go down to once a week for four weeks, then two times a month for two months then once a month for a year. I feel so blessed thank you for all your prayers and support you have giving me. Now I can put all my energy on getting John over his Mouth Cancer so please continue keeping us in your prayers. Sorry this is so brief but I just had a couple of minuets take care Crystee

I love spending time with my Family!

The 5 Kid's

Tim, Heather, Kayla, JD & Ali

The 6 Grand kids

Melia, Vanessa, Hailey, Madi~Lu, Jaden & Nathan

Well it has been a couple of rough weeks! Last week was my last week of chemo 3X's a week and for the grand finale they had me take double dose of my already high dose of chemo, that was a sick & twisted thing to do to a girl! I was miserable!! Thursday was the worst 24 hours straight of puking and a terrible headache I was ready to give up. But they order new anti nausea and pain med's and things got better. I was able to enjoy my Birthday with my family and had a great time. I have been keeping a Gratitude journal and try to find something to be grateful for each day, which helps me keep things positive. After reflecting on last week I am thankful that through my whole illness I've really only had one week of being that ill some people are that sick the whole time their on chemo, so I feel fortunate for that.

I would like to share an entry from my Gratitude Journal.

Friday December 19Th

"Yesterday was a really tough day for me I was the sickest I've been through out this whole ordeal but I realised that it was necessary so I could learned from it. And this is what I have learned; my Faith in Priesthood blessing's increased I learned to seek a Priesthood before pain med's. My relationship and love for my Heavenly Father and Savior Jesus Christ has increased. I learned that my Heavenly Father loves me so much that He sent His Son to help ease my pain and burdens. And I have learned when I exercise my Faith in my Savior and His Atonement He really does take away my Pain and suffering.

This week is my week off from chemo and now my body is going through with drawls from not having it, go figure I get sick when I take it and sick when I don't. I have been feeling pretty shaky and jumping out of my skin, but I realised this morning that I forgot to take my steroids the last couple of days, so I took them and those side affects seem to be subsiding and this week will be getting a lot better.

On a positive note my hair has started to grow in but there is a mystery I am trying to figure out, I know the hair is growing out of my head but it's not my hair it's dark and feels coarse and it has gray in it! Maybe it's because I have so many people's blood cursing through my veins.

Like my dog Winnie I am done with the snow!

Merry Christmas and my the Lord bless you and your families in the New Year.

Look what I did!

Look at my new Tattoo's!

I figured since I don't have hair I might as well make my head pretty!

I CAN SEE YOU!

Dustin you were right Tattoo's on the head don't hurt! May because mine are rub on.

Well I am still here and as you can see I am finding ways to spend my time I do get a little bored here at home. I hope you all had a nice Thanksgiving. We had the whole family over to our house the Sunday before to celebrate Thanksgiving since my brother was having a nose job on Monday and wouldn't be up for a big get together it was fun.

GOOD NEWS!

I went to the doctors yesterday to get blood and we found out that my red blood cells weren't as low as they expected and that my Bone Marrow is starting to make red cells! I am the only one in the study that this has happened to and they were happy yet surprised. I know that it is through the power of prayer that I am doing so well, so thank you to every one who keeps me in your prayers.

Now I am on to phase two of the clinical trial in a couple of weeks I will start on the Growth Factor and cut the Chemo down to once a week. This should stimulate my Bone Marrow into making all three blood components, so please keep me in your prayers. I can't say Thank you enough to all my family and friends for all you do for me and my family during these trials.

Take care and don't forget to hug those you love and tell them you love them.

Gone Yesterday Hair today!

Look I have hair!!!!

R>I can't beleive how having hair can help me fake looking better then I feel! Don't get me wrong I do wear my bald head as a badge of honor, but when I wear the do rag and mask out in public I don't like the fact that perfect strangers treat me like I am dying! My friend told me today that her little girl Sarah saw me at church and said look Crystee's all better she has hair now, aren't little kids so cute.Well its been a couple of rough weeks I have had to endure some personally humilating moments that I won't go in to details about thank goodness for our oldest daughter Heather who was here to help me. I went to the Doctors today they say my Bone Marrow is dying off and they all seemed thrilled about it so I take it this is good and the chemo is doing it job. They have to wait a couple of weeks for my blood counts to continue going down and then they will give me one last transfusion before they start the growth factor.

>My granddaughter Madi-Lu shows her support for me! !

A couple of weeks ago my good friend told me to start writing a gratitude journal and to find thing in each day to be thankful for. I thought each day would be a very short entry but to my surprise I have a lot to be thankful for,I was just focusing on the wrong things. I won't bore you with the list but I encourage all of you to write down a few things each day you are thankful for and you will blessing how many bleesing you have in even during trails and tribulations. This last week I have had some wonderful and faith building experiences that I would like to share with you. We had the opportunity to go and listen to an Apostle of the Lord Russell M Nelson speak on Sunday. I was so uplifted by his talk and was thankful I went because I almost didn't. At the end of the meeting I had the opportunity to well kind of shake hands with Elder Nelson He noticed my relcuntancy and I explained that my Dr told me not to shake hands and he said well I can give you a hug and he did.He told me that My hevenly Father was aware of me and that my trails and tribulations were for a purpose. Words can not describe the feelings I felt. I am so thankful for my ward family,friends and faimly who continue to serve me.

Take care Crystee

A New Look!

Me and my girls. I am the one sporting the do rag!

I know you are all wondering how I am doing? Well lets just say the release date for Crystee's Funeral "The Musical"has been post pone indefinitely. I was surprised when I logged on to do the update and saw my friend Dawn had added the donating blood blurb and pics,so thank you Dawn! Thank you to my Friends in Auburn for your support!

I started loosing my hair a couple of weeks ago. John says it looks like a goat chewed on my head! and I have to agree with him!

Last week they up my chemo dosage and I am now on the highest dose and will stay on it for 4 months. As you can see it is starting to take its toll on me physically I have been very tired and in some pain. Saturday I went to our Niece Shaina's wedding and enjoyed spending time with Johns family. The best part of the night was when John & I got out on the dance floor, our girls were mortified so I thought that was a perfect ending to a great day.

I woke up one morning and there were more bald patches so Kayla shaved my head!

Yesterday however was a very bad day I was in a lot of pain and nothing seem to work and I was emotionally exhausted. I missed my Mom terribly and the more I missed her the madder I got! I was mad that Heavenly Father took her away from me and that I had to go through this with out her when she was the best care giver ever! I was mad at the stress my illness is causing my youngest daughter.I was mad that my two older sisters lived in other states and that my brother is busy with his family,work and church calling and that my dad is not like my mom. I was truly ready to throw in the towel yesterday.

I tell you this not because I want you to feel sorry for me but so I can tell you what I have learned from my tantrum. First of all like any child who yells at their parent I had to say I was sorry and I did repent to my Heavenly Father I know he loves me and does understand what I am going through. And like my friend told me this morning at least I had a loving and nurturing relationship with my mom cause some people don't have that so I am thankful for that. I have been spoiled in the past by having family close to me so I never had to rely on my church family and find myself in uncharted waters. I am having to learn why we call it a ward family I am so great full for all of you that are in my ward that have help in ways I might not even be aware of so thank you. Thank you to all my friends and family who continue to pray for me and you words of encouragement keep them coming!

Tada! here I am in all my BALD glory! John says he thinks it sexy, I think he maybe crazy!