A New Look!

Me and my girls. I am the one sporting the do rag!

I know you are all wondering how I am doing? Well lets just say the release date for Crystee's Funeral "The Musical"has been post pone indefinitely. I was surprised when I logged on to do the update and saw my friend Dawn had added the donating blood blurb and pics,so thank you Dawn! Thank you to my Friends in Auburn for your support!

I started loosing my hair a couple of weeks ago. John says it looks like a goat chewed on my head! and I have to agree with him!

Last week they up my chemo dosage and I am now on the highest dose and will stay on it for 4 months. As you can see it is starting to take its toll on me physically I have been very tired and in some pain. Saturday I went to our Niece Shaina's wedding and enjoyed spending time with Johns family. The best part of the night was when John & I got out on the dance floor, our girls were mortified so I thought that was a perfect ending to a great day.

I woke up one morning and there were more bald patches so Kayla shaved my head!

Yesterday however was a very bad day I was in a lot of pain and nothing seem to work and I was emotionally exhausted. I missed my Mom terribly and the more I missed her the madder I got! I was mad that Heavenly Father took her away from me and that I had to go through this with out her when she was the best care giver ever! I was mad at the stress my illness is causing my youngest daughter.I was mad that my two older sisters lived in other states and that my brother is busy with his family,work and church calling and that my dad is not like my mom. I was truly ready to throw in the towel yesterday.

I tell you this not because I want you to feel sorry for me but so I can tell you what I have learned from my tantrum. First of all like any child who yells at their parent I had to say I was sorry and I did repent to my Heavenly Father I know he loves me and does understand what I am going through. And like my friend told me this morning at least I had a loving and nurturing relationship with my mom cause some people don't have that so I am thankful for that. I have been spoiled in the past by having family close to me so I never had to rely on my church family and find myself in uncharted waters. I am having to learn why we call it a ward family I am so great full for all of you that are in my ward that have help in ways I might not even be aware of so thank you. Thank you to all my friends and family who continue to pray for me and you words of encouragement keep them coming!

Tada! here I am in all my BALD glory! John says he thinks it sexy, I think he maybe crazy!